{"id":3752,"date":"2024-05-01T22:15:53","date_gmt":"2024-05-02T02:15:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/?p=3752"},"modified":"2024-05-02T16:17:52","modified_gmt":"2024-05-02T20:17:52","slug":"not-first-not-third-but-second","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/2024\/05\/01\/not-first-not-third-but-second\/","title":{"rendered":"Not First. Not Third. But Second."},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3752\" class=\"elementor elementor-3752\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ba2e9d5 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ba2e9d5\" data-element_type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-da0b2e0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"da0b2e0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 15-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cFirst is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest.\u201d The age-old phrase was proved false in my life. I\u2019ve found that being second isn\u2019t always the best. It slowly begins to shape the way you perceive yourself. It only took me 19 years to figure out that the feeling of being a second choice was ingrained in me.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being the second choice has been a constant theme in my life but I\u2019ve chosen to look at it from the brighter side. Maybe if I\u2019m the second choice, something better is coming for me. Maybe if I\u2019m the second choice, I\u2019ll have time to better prepare for the role. Maybe if I\u2019m the second choice, that person wasn\u2019t for me. Just maybe there\u2019s beauty in being the second choice, but it doesn\u2019t always feel like that.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Throughout high school, I became the secondary best friend, meaning I was the last one to get invited to anything, I never got filled in on the drama first and I became the second phone call when the preferred friend wasn\u2019t available.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I watched a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=tzovzIgVTgY\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">TED Talk<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> once where Kelma Jean recalled being \u201cthe backup friend.\u201d They spent years being dragged along and hurt by their friend group because they allowed them to, all while neglecting their true friends. Jean says, \u201cThe same people all those years that I should\u2019ve dropped because they hurt me so many times, I took them back because that\u2019s the kind of person I am and I allowed them to hurt me again.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jean\u2019s experience opened my eyes to being the second choice. There was a fear and sense of inferiority I felt when being friends with these kinds of people because if I dropped them, I\u2019d have no friends. On the other hand, if I continued being friends with them I was only hurting myself just as badly as they were hurting me. No matter how much hurt comes along with being attached to these people, I couldn\u2019t seem to give them up.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ea4f171 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ea4f171\" data-element_type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6ecc99b elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"6ecc99b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 15-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<figure class=\"wp-caption\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1284\" height=\"1021\" src=\"https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5405.jpg\" class=\"attachment-2048x2048 size-2048x2048 wp-image-3925\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5405.jpg 1284w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5405-300x239.jpg 300w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5405-1024x814.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5405-768x611.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1284px) 100vw, 1284px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"widget-image-caption wp-caption-text\">Courtesy of Jonaira South<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fdfacf7 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"fdfacf7\" data-element_type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b95bdce elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b95bdce\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>There\u2019s a group of friends I kept around in high school because I didn\u2019t have anyone else and I settled for being chosen second over finding friends who truly appreciated me\u2014 ones that sent me invitations, ones that called me with the drama first, and ones that gave as much to me as I gave to them.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Jean shared a few tips that helped me when it comes to not feeling like a second option:<\/p><ul style=\"font-size: 15px; background-color: #ffffff;\"><li style=\"font-size: 15px;\" aria-level=\"1\">Defend yourself<\/li><li style=\"font-size: 15px;\" aria-level=\"1\">Be your\u00a0<i>own<\/i>\u00a0friend<\/li><li style=\"font-size: 15px;\" aria-level=\"1\">Love yourself<\/li><li style=\"font-size: 15px;\" aria-level=\"1\">Don\u2019t be dependent on one group of friends<\/li><li style=\"font-size: 15px;\" aria-level=\"1\">Leave those that aren\u2019t there for you<\/li><\/ul><p>One thing I can say is that choosing myself worked out in the end. Every. Single. Time. This was easier said than done because I knew how difficult it was to deal with not getting what I wanted when I wanted it. Not getting the \u201cdream\u201d boy, \u201cdream\u201d friends, and \u201cdream\u201d job. Whatever you can think of, I\u2019ve probably been the second choice in more ways than one because I\u2019m always almost there. As Princess Tiana says:<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><i>\u201cTrials and tribulations<\/i><\/p><p><i>I&#8217;ve had my share<\/i><\/p><p><i>There ain&#8217;t nothing gonna stop me now<\/i><\/p><p><i>&#8216;Cause I&#8217;m almost there.\u201d<\/i><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Taking advice from a fictional princess is a little odd, but there is so much truth in what she says. She\u2019s gone through obstacles and overcome them. She\u2019s taking the rejection and the hardships as a sign to work harder and keep striving for something greater. If I could get on her level of acceptance, then maybe being the second choice wouldn\u2019t have bothered me as much as it always did. I\u2019d be lying if I said it still doesn\u2019t affect me at 22 years old. I can look on the brighter side, but it still takes a chunk of confidence out of me, and chunk by chunk I find myself not having much left to give.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>I desperately long to know what it feels like to be the first choice, for just once in my life. It\u2019s unfair I\u2019ve had to deal with disappointment, work extra hard, and leave myself open for last-minute invitations. As a second choice, I thought about whether I was enough or simply wasn\u2019t doing enough. I\u2019m aware those two options sound the same but let me explain\u2014 not being enough meant that no matter what I wasn\u2019t going to be someone\u2019s first choice. Not doing enough meant I wasn\u2019t putting my all into what I wanted.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>I had a love-hate relationship with being the second choice because it meant that the thing I wanted wasn\u2019t meant for me to have at this time or at all. Whichever one it is, my impatience and frustration only grew more and more as I waited for the alignment of what was meant for me to come through. Spoiler alert: it came through.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p style=\"margin-bottom: 9px;\">I\u2019ve learned that being the second choice didn\u2019t make me any less than but gave me space to be my own first choice. Maybe there\u2019s beauty in being the second choice; it allowed me to spend more time with myself. After all, I am the most important person in my life. Choosing myself was always going to work out. I\u2019m much happier and feel better about myself and the people I surround myself with. I\u2019ve learned to be okay with being someone\u2019s second choice. My inner child has healed from the hurt I felt growing up in the shadow of the first choice.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4781d22 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"4781d22\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<figure class=\"wp-caption\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"828\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5406-828x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3926\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5406-828x1024.jpg 828w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5406-243x300.jpg 243w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5406-768x950.jpg 768w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5406-1242x1536.jpg 1242w, https:\/\/editorsvision.com\/collage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_5406.jpg 1284w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 828px) 100vw, 828px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"widget-image-caption wp-caption-text\">Courtesy of Jonaira South<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cFirst is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest.\u201d The age-old phrase was proved false in my life. I\u2019ve found that being second isn\u2019t always the best. It slowly begins to shape the way you perceive yourself. It only took me 19 years to figure out that the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":3908,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-identity"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Not First. Not Third. 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