Advice from women on the apps.
If you’re a woman using a dating app to meet men, you’ve undoubtedly seen some sh**. You’ve considered gauging your eyes out after days of crusty gym selfies. You’ve prayed to exorcise the misogynist platitudes: “Don’t take yourself too seriously,” “Be spontaneous,” “Read books,” “Travel with me,” “I’m overly competitive about everything,” and on, and on, and on.
For the men reading this, you are far less likely to attract that silly, adventurous, literary woman you desire with these clichés. Writing a dating app profile is hard. For everyone! No shame in your game if you’ve been that guy opining about how women should be rather than showing off your greatest qualities, but let’s kick it up—like, 100 notches. Here are a few simple steps to take your profile from revolting to ravishing.
1. Keep It Short
No one wants to read a big list of your favorite bands or of what you’re looking for in a partner. Emulate a Tweet. Keep your answer under two sentences unless it is a spectacular anecdote that requires three. Women are busy! Give them an hors d’oeuvre, not a seven-course meal.
2. Be Kind
Everyone loves a bitch sesh, but the limited space on your profile should highlight your most enticing qualities, not your frustrations. You don’t need to feign interest in astrology; instead, focus on what brings you joy, like your passions or communities.
3. Be Silly
Who doesn’t love a good sense of humor? Of course, that’s major, but instead of writing that verbatim, show, don’t tell. Make jokes that are to your own comedic tastes. Play with syntax, funny stories, hyperbolic sentiments, sarcasm—whatever is in your arsenal to make a profile that you would find funny. Dating shouldn’t feel terrible and overwhelming; it should foster fun. Enjoy what you put out, and you will attract equitable energy.
4. Make It All About You
The trick to sharing your sense of humor on your profile is imagining what you’d want to see while perusing the app. Put yourself on the other side of the phone. How can you tailor your profile to attract people you’ll actually vibe with? The key is a pinch of vulnerability. You don’t need to go overboard and share any intimate details, but including some information about yourself—be it your vibe, interests, or dreams—will draw people in rather than repel them away.
5. Be Honest
Rounding your height to the nearest inch is a perfectly acceptable, teeny little untruth. Writing that you’re 6’3 when you’re 5’7 is another story. Dates care way less about your size than about your integrity. Keep your primary identifiers factual. Height, neighborhood of residence, job, AGE: while it’s common to twist the truth in these quarters, it’s never nice to discover you’ve been bamboozled. Once again, put yourself in their place. People will want you for who you are, not a bloated fantasy of yourself.
6. Use Good Pics
Make sure that at least half of your photos are actually of you. It is very attractive to have a face! Pictures of pets, art projects, memes, and funny gizmos are all fair play, but there should be enough evidence on your profile that you’re not a bot. Pictures with your favorite people or doing your favorite things are the most special. Please refrain from photos where you’ve had drinks spilled all over your shirt or are firing some sort of large weapon. Don’t blur out other people’s faces in photos…that’s scary! Crop them, at the very least.
These six tips came from several questionnaires in early 2023 that asked women what they most like and dislike seeing on men’s dating profiles. If you have more to contribute, drop a comment to be included in Part 2! In the end, all people really want is human connection. If you’re using a dating app to get some, why not try and spruce it up a bit?